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| Jeremiah 29:11 |
Share a time when you felt spiritually abandoned
My first year as an educator...YIKES! I absolutely LOVE to help kids shine, but I didn't major in education...on PURPOSE, and there I was being called onto the battlefield to fight a war for which I had not been prepared. Say what, Lord? Teach? Coach cheer-leading? Get them to college? Do it all with a smile? And no prayer in school? I fussed at God and cried myself to sleep as a daily regimen. How could He do this to me? My goals included becoming a business woman, CEO of a major corporation, dollar signs- you get my drift! Not teaching children with children, my hair being pulled, board meetings because my expectations were too high, my vehicle used as the neighborhood bus, pennies and nickels for pay, and paperwork up to my ears....this was the ultimate punishment!
I was happy on the outside and furious inside...where was this big God when I was drowning in my desire to do more-somewhere other than a classroom? Where was He when all of the roaches, fights, house arrest anklets, no air, computers from the 80's, and bright-loud-bubbly kids were in full effect....arrggh. Why did I get these college degrees? I was arriving at 5:30 am and leaving around 10 pm with my favorite custodian (who eventually gave me a key)! As if this wasn't enough, I was also as single as a dollar bill, hunnie...OMGee!! This was not the life...
I figured if I could get through that year I could move on to bigger and better. Well, you know what happens when you make a plan...God definitely works His!
Share a time when you felt broken
I dated an insecure young fella who did a pretty good job at convincing me to be mediocre...OUCH! I was too much and not enough simultaneously! How dare I dream big and actually take actions to see the dreams come to reality? I was too busy, tried to do too much to save the world, and too everything according to him. Talk about doubting self. He told me that all the great qualities he once found extremely attractive were suddenly a nuisance.
A major part of my once bubbly spirit died daily, but the go-getter in me attempted to save what probably never was. I'm not a failure but this surely changed the game for me. What happened to my standards, how did I miss the mask that he wore, and what on earth was I doing giving him control of my confidence? Needless to say, the situation left me tucked safely in my apartment, lonely, depressed, confused, 15 pounds lighter in a few days’ time, and all the other jazz that creeps in on you while you're already down. And I still had to go teach/lead my students every day with a smile. Come ON Jesus!!
Share the moment when you discovered your purpose OR the moment you received a revelation of what your purpose might be
When I looked up and realized I was going into my 7th year as an educator?!! Oh MY...seven years, a youth nonprofit, hundreds of college students later, I'm STILL influencing young loves. I think I may be onto something special...
When you are hardest hit how do you motivate yourself to press on?
I send inspirational messages and random gifts/letters in the mail to others. Focusing on others allows me to shift my thinking. I love quotes, so I read those and remind myself that getting to this moment required that I push through tough times, as well.
What have you learned in this season of your life?
That "I have only just a minute, only sixty seconds in it. Forced upon me can't refuse it. Didn't seek it, didn't choose it. But it's up to me to use it. I must suffer if I lose it, give account if I abuse it. Just a tiny little minute, but eternity is in it." Dr. Benjamin Mays
No time for stress, excuses, fear, or doubt...I can't let my time run out! The vision is huge but I will do all that God has called me to do...without question (pray for me)!
What advice would you give to those who feel like their story is over?
You're sorta kinda something like a big deal...seriously! You are perfectly flawed, beautifully made, and filled with talent in a world that needs ALL that you are, in the skin that you're in! ROCK your life, unapologetically so, without shame, and with an open heart and mind to embrace your phenomenality. You're a part of a mission that is sooo much bigger than you. FLY hunnie!!
Send me a picture of your favorite pair of heels and let me know why they are your favorite!
I heart shoes...especially a bad heel! These are bold, sassy, fancy, and scream "confident lady on top"...that's me!!
By: Marie Feagins
