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| Spiritual Warfare |
Share a time when you felt spiritually abandoned
This past year I felt spiritually abandoned. It was January 2013, I was at my house and all of sudden I felt alone. I felt as though GOD didn't hear any of my prayers. I would come home scared. On top of that, I worked swing shift (3:30pm-11:30pm) and my husband was deployed; my house was empty when I came home at night. You would think getting off from work would be the best part of my day. You know, looking forward to coming home and relaxing, but it was the worst. At that moment I realized I was empty. I had been encouraging people SO much that I forgot how to encourage myself. I knew scriptures and I could tell anyone where to find anything if they were going through something. But when I would read those same scriptures, I felt nothing. I would literally run to my room, take a shower, and get in bed. I was scared. I was at home crying because I felt like something else (evil) was there with me. I know it may sound crazy and I wish I was lying about that, but I'm not. I began to call people who I thought were "spiritually sound". I called people who "I thought" knew the Word. So in February, I called a minister and a family member. The family member told me I was getting spiritually attacked because I didn't have the holy ghost/holy spirit. I was furious, I didn't say anything I just listened because I know the Word and I know I have the holy ghost, but I was so tired of fighting spiritual warfare with myself, I had NO room to fight with anyone else. The minister told me to pray and she prayed with me. But when I got off the phone, I was still scared. I literally thought I was losing my mind. I have never in my 28 years felt fear like that. I just knew GOD had thrown in the towel on me.
Share a time when you felt broken
I felt broken when I got out of a very toxic relationship. I put so much in this relationship, that if you would have told me he did anything wrong, I wouldn't have believed you or I would have swept it under the rug; I didn't love myself at all. The sun rose and set on him. I would never give anyone else a chance because I just knew he was for me. I was KRAZY with a "K". When the relationship would subside I did everything in MY power to continue the relationship. But when we stopped talking, one of those times, I broke down. I lost over 30lbs in a 45 days and I didn't even notice it. All I would do was smoke black and mild’s, look out of a window, and drink alcohol in the morning to make my day go by. I was numb. I stopped going to school; I can't blame anyone but myself. I let the devil have a lot of control over my life and I didn't even know it. I went home and cried in my mother’s lap like a baby. She told me, "You’re strong and you're better than this". But at that moment, I knew that I was broken because all I wanted was him. My mother always said, “Whomever or whatever you place your time in, that becomes your GOD". I never quite understood until I was lying in her lap crying. All I knew is that my heart felt like someone had stolen it. I was heartbroken! My body was fragile and so was my mind. I was broken!
Share the moment when you discovered your purpose OR the moment you received a revelation of what your purpose might be
I remember one day when I was in Florida, I went to church, and that day in particular day we had church outside. 4 hours prior to that I had just come in from the club. I had the smell of smoke in my hair, probably on my breath, alcohol in my stomach, and probably seeping through my pores. I didn't stand up all church service, mainly because I was still hung-over. But I was one of those people who went to church regardless. At the end of church, they asked for anyone who needed prayer. I was trying to go to this lady to get prayer but her line was full. When I looked to my right I saw this other lady praising GOD and praying. So I went to her and as soon as she touched me, she said I know you've been out partying and at the club but God has called you to evangelize to the world. He told me you are going to travel the world and tell people about Jesus. I fell to my knees because I knew God couldn't use me. In my mind, I said NO! I was so messed up. Everyone thought I had it together, but I was messed up. Over the years God has slowly but surely molded me into what HE wants me to be. I am learning to encourage myself. I realized that I take on other peoples burdens better, and I can pray for them and leave it there and not worry. I am a person who does not have a problem speaking up for people or things; I am called to people who don't have a voice. I am an advocate for Christians who are being persecuted in other countries. I write them letters encouraging them and urging them not to give up on Jesus. I also write to their government. If a person you are writing to gets enough letters sometimes they will let them go. They realize that if you are writing them they must mean something if they're getting letters from people in different parts of the world.
When you are hardest hit how do you motivate yourself to press on?
There are 2 things that motivate me:
First, I motivate myself by thinking about all of the FAITH my Granny Harris had in GOD. She could have the worst day and still tell you that GOD is good. She would be using her breathing machine, struggling to inhale, but as she was exhaling, she'd be telling you how good Jesus is. I say to myself, "If she could still praise GOD until she exhaled her last breath, I can definitely raise my hands and open my mouth and give GOD praise.” She praised GOD until she died.
Secondly, I write letters and tell people, whenever I have a chance, about Christians being persecuted, killed, and beaten. These men and women are being placed in jail for believing in Christ. When I first found out about this, I cried day and night. It made me feel ashamed because these people are REALLY representing the body of Christ. All some of them have to do to get out of jail is say they don't believe in Jesus, and they are free. It also depends on the judge. But they choose to stay because they are standing firm on what they believe. One guy who is in prison now said that he was glad he went to jail for being a believer because while he was in there he saved 30 more people. I realized in that moment that I had the freedom to raise my hands, sing, shout, or do whatever else I wanted to do. But half of the time I was only standing when the preacher said stand or the worship team was singing. After reading what was going on with my brothers and sisters in Christ around the world, I told myself, from then on I'm going to stand in the gap for that man or woman who has been put in prison for talking about Jesus or spreading the gospel. I can NO longer be a closet Christian; that day I came out the closet. These people don't know it but they woke up a love inside of me that I never knew I had. They motivate me to live like Christ. You must ask yourself, if you were put on trial for being Christian would you be convicted. If the answer is no, then ask GOD to reveal the areas HE wants to change in your life.
What have you learned in this season of your life?
This season in my life I am learning how to be a REAL follower of Christ. Not just a "Go to church on Sunday" Christian. I am learning how to praise GOD and find the God in every situation. I told myself this year I would discover love. Meaning I would love people before I knew them. I would love them how 1 Corinthians 13:4-8 says to love. Ever since I prayed that prayer, God has been testing me left and right to see if I can love how he can. He's showing me how to love people in spite of what they did, what they're doing, or what they're going to do. I'm learning that I am capable of loving the way Christ does because He commands us to love more than anything else. I know He won't command us to do something if we didn’t have the power to do it; some of the people HE commands me to love GET ON MY LAST NERVE but I know His strength is perfect in my weakness. I have learned how judgmental I was in this season. I know for a fact when I asked GOD "to break my heart for what breaks HIS" He showed me the next day, and the next, and the next, etc... He is showing me that when HE loves, HE loves hard. He's opening my eyes to a new way of thinking and seeing people. I am also learning that I struggle in areas that I thought I didn't have problems with anymore.
What advice would you give to those who feel like their story is over?
The reason I shared insight on my past is to show you that if GOD can use me, He can use you. No matter what anyone says about your past don't be ashamed. Embrace it, learn from it, and get over it. DO NOT let anyone or anything hold your hostage by your past. A lot of times it’s not people or things holding us hostage, it’s us! We hold ourselves captive. BE FREE!!! Jesus gave us freedom from our sins when he died on the cross. FORGIVE YOURSELF and let God use you. I have never felt freer in my life until I decided to REALLY follow Christ! We have the tendency to believe GOD can change things. The question is do we trust him to do it?
Send me a picture of your favorite pair of heels and let me know why they are your favorite!
I picked these shoes because I they're fancy and they're not TOO uncomfortable! lol
By: Hollery Morris
