Love and Marriage Mini Series- The Williams

Meet Brandon and Lakendria Williams

Tell us your love story! (Include a picture of you two THEN and NOW)

Brandon and I met in 2005 while attending THE University of Alabama (Roll Tide.) We passed each other walking to class every Tuesday and Thursday. I noticed him right away because of his cute baby face. I thought to myself that he looked really young but knew he wasn’t a freshman because I was at the time and didn’t know him. One day I found out that he noticed my staring at him because he said “Hi!” I thought it was the cutest thing, but wanted to see who this dude was. So I started asking a few upperclassmen I knew about him and found out he was a junior and a pretty cool guy. We danced a couple times at parties but didn’t really get to talk to each other for a while. That really piqued my interest even more but I was definitely not “about that life” when it came to approaching a guy, especially a junior!!! He finally approached me at the Business School Library where I worked and asked me for MY pen. I responded very sarcastically because he asked specifically for my pen even though there was another worker at the desk with her pen ready to give him. That is where he took full advantage of the conversation to ask me for my name and number and I’m so glad he did!!!

For many couples Valentine’s Day is the only time they feel loved by their significant other and/or spouse. How do you show your love to each other throughout the year?

We always try to find ways to show love and affection towards each other each day. We always say I love you before bed and after we depart from each other. We give kisses every morning before he leaves for work. We share a lot of inside jokes and laugh together a lot. I feel that being able to be silly and goofy with your spouse can really help you get through the good and bad times that couples face in their relationship or marriage. Laughter is good for the soul and who better to share laughs and jokes with than your mate. We also make time to go out dates and spend quality time together. I feel that it’s so important for couples to continue to date throughout their relationship or marriage.

We all enter marriage with our own quirks. What’s one thing your spouse does that drives you crazy but you couldn’t imagine life without him doing it?

Brandon has this thing where he tries to “freestyle rap.” It is so annoying when he does it but I always end up laughing at him and miss it when we are not together. Another thing that would be a close second would be when he does these random outbursts and noises. I had a friend ask me one time did he have Tourette's because he did them in front of her.

Being a wife is more than just a title but it’s a ministry. When the enemy tries to attack your marriage what is your go to scripture?

My go to scripture would definitely be Romans 8:28 “And we know that in all things God works for the good of those who love him, who have been called according to his purpose”-NIV. I feel that God brought us together for His perfect will and purpose so when I feel the enemy trying to creep in I can always meditate and reflect on this scripture to encourage myself that God put us together for a reason and His plan for our lives cannot fail.

Years pass, people grow older, bodies change, babies come but what is one thing about your spouse that still takes your breath away?

I would say his baby face and when he gets a fresh haircut.

Many couples have marriage as their ultimate goal. What’s one piece of advice you’d give engaged couples?

One piece of advice I would give would be to always give your partner the GRACE that God gives you each day. You can easily bring your spouse down by pointing out their flaws, hang-ups or whatever else they aren't doing well enough for your standards. However, you have to stop and think about your imperfect, human self and how God sees past our flesh and looks at the heart in us and apply that in your relationship.

When we were dating we thought we knew it all! Probably believing that marriage was easy but what has marriage taught you about the difference between “regular love” and agape love?

Marriage has taught me a lot about grace. I am a perfectionist and a major control freak, to be honest, and I have learned through marriage that it’s not going to always go my way especially when someone else’s opinions and wants and needs matter. I have also learned that no one, including myself, is perfect so I cannot hold someone to this perfect image that I figure up in my head. No one is perfect and everyone, including myself, needs grace daily. This lesson has also helped me with motherhood as I have a 2.5 year old son and a 5 month daughter who depend on my husband and I for everything. There are days when I want to hide in the closet because my toddler is throwing another temper tantrum or my baby girl doesn't want to be put down. However, I am reminded that they also need grace and I must be patient with them to raise them to practice those same principles.

On Valentine’s Day many women who are abused find themselves back with their abuser because the cycle of abuse is real and this particular holiday makes it easy for abusers to woo their victims. According to the United Nations, one of every three women on the planet will be physically or sexually abused in her lifetime. Although sources of violence may seem diverse, women's responses sound tragically similar. Besides the pain and strength you will hear in their survival stories, the themes that resound across cultures and geographies are of the indifference of authorities, the familial instinct of denial, and the lack of public outrage about the violence that millions of women experience every day. It's on us...

What would tell those wives who are walking through tough times in their marriages?

I would tell those wives that violence does not equal love. If a man truly loves you, it would crush him to see you even cry a single tear, especially if he is the reason behind those tears. I would tell them to give it to Christ and do not go back to someone who has been abusive. I would assure her that she is wanted and beautiful and that her Adam will soon find her and treat her with the utmost respect and show her what true love is. I would suggest to her to spend her Valentine’s Day with Jesus instead. She should cook a meal for Him and spend time talking to Him, reading His word, crying out to Him, worshiping Him and He will fill those voids that she thinks that man would.