In case you haven’t noticed we are in the month of “love” according to Hallmark. In addition to that, in May 2014, Scott and I will be celebrating our 7th year of marriage!! In my [unplugged] time I have been going through my blog posts and realized I have never shared our story with you! I wanted to take this time over the next few months to include more posts about marriage, our story and YOUR stories! For the next few days I am going to kick off my Love and Marriage Mini-Series with some love stories from some of our married friends. But first here’s an introduction into OUR story:
Love and Marriage- The Millers
Tell us about you and your love! (Include a picture of you two THEN and NOW)
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| July 2006 (left); December 2013 (right) |
For many couples Valentine’s Day is the only time they feel loved by their significant other and/or spouse. How do you show your love to each other throughout the year?
Just to be honest Valentine’s Day could come and go and we wouldn’t notice but because we grocery shop, dabble in social media, and listen to the radio it is a little difficult to ignore a holiday that we decided early on would not be THE day we express our love to one another. SO, throughout the year we go on dates, we will buy thinking of you or just because cards; Scott is notorious for bringing me small gifts (my favorite ice cream, a gift card to somewhere I’ve been wanting to go, a massage or just a girls day). In addition we try, more often than not, to speak and BE each others love language. How we feel about each other is too GRAND for this one day and that’s why we believe in celebrating Valentines everyDAY.
We all enter marriage with our own quirks. What’s one thing your spouse does that drives you crazy but you couldn’t imagine life without him doing it?
I am a complete free spirit who is an introvert with OCD tendencies. Doesn’t make sense to you and it doesn’t make sense to my husband but that's the best way to describe me. He is your typical type A personality AND he’s an extrovert. He believes that everything should be in a PLACE from shoes, coats, clothes etc in addition to never meeting a stranger. I believe things should be in a place but if they aren’t for a day or two or SEVEN I will not lose sleep about it. But as you can imagine many of my things get moved to places that I would never choose for them to be but to him it’s a place that makes perfect sense. It drives me batty but I will go on record and say that I could not imagine BOTH of us being free and easy breezy like me. Someone has to demand order and that’s why I love him.
Being a wife is more than just a title but it’s a ministry. When the enemy tries to attack your marriage what is your go to scripture?
Proverbs 4: 20-27 keeps me grounded and READY for the enemy and his slick ways! As the watch (WO)man of our house it is important to me to make sure that the atmosphere of our house is enriched with God’s presence and that I don’t get distracted by any plots the enemy thinks he has that will come against our marriage. Because we must die to our flesh daily (and I have to die to my mouth daily) these verses cover how to “learn it by Heart” in a manner that empowers me as a woman and as a wife!
Years pass, people grow older, bodies change, babies come but what is one thing about your spouse that still takes your breath away?
Aside from how sexy I think he is, his heart honestly leaves me speechless. I’m always writing about how pure his heart is because I have never met someone so genuine. There’s something attractive about a man that will give his clothes, watch (or your watch), or shoes off of his body to someone in need. His ability to love people in a way that constantly teaches me is breath taking! I’m so thankful to have met him and have him as my own in this lifetime.
Many couples have marriage as their ultimate goal. What’s one piece of advice you’d give engaged couples?
Make sure that God is your foundation. Never stop learning and growing. Attend conferences together, do ministry together, be a team despite what relationships around you look like. Dare to be different, dream of being better and ask the Holy Spirit to position you both to be able to be all of those things for one another that God would have you to be.
When we were dating we thought we knew it all! Probably believing that marriage was easy but what has marriage taught you about the difference between “regular love” and agape love?
Before marriage I thought love was this idea; something concrete that you could explain. Something that WAS because of what of what it gave you. But agape love addressed that selflessness within me. Marriage taught me how selfish I was and how I needed to learn to love from a different part of myself. That I needed to learn how to love people the way God loves people. Marriage taught me that love has nothing to do with stuff but everything to do with behavior.
BONUS: Let’s bring some awareness to the discussion. On Valentine’s Day many women who are abused find themselves back with their abuser because the cycle of abuse is real and this holiday makes it easy for abusers to woo their victims.
What would tell those wives who are walking through tough times in their marriages?
If you are being abused I encourage you to seek help! There are so many organizations willing to help you if you are ready to be helped because love doesn’t hurt and if you have children it’s not worth the psychological damage witnessing abuse does to children! God can restore those broken places and fill that void you believe you’d have without being in a toxic marriage. If there isn’t abuse present in the marriage but there is just what I like to call a glitch in the marriage matrix I encourage you to seek marital counseling through your church together. If you feel you need individual counseling I encourage you to make arrangements for that but ultimately you should be engaging in a session that involves both of you! Continue to pray, join a support group at your church, and just keep pressing on. Don’t give up!
According to the United Nations, one of every three women on the planet will be physically or sexually abused in her lifetime. Although sources of violence may seem diverse, women's responses sound tragically similar. Besides the pain and strength you will hear in their survival stories, the themes that resound across cultures and geographies are of the indifference of authorities, the familial instinct of denial, and the lack of public outrage about the violence that millions of women experience every day. V-Day
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All my love,
Caneeka
In General:
*GIVEAWAY coming soon! So make sure you subscribe or follow my Instagram so you won't miss the announcement! Love Month Devotional Giveaway
