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| Poor Job Market |
Share a time when you felt spiritually abandoned
I graduated from the University of Alabama in 2007 and in that same month began a Master’s program to gain certification to teach public school. I had been actively running away from the field of teaching but in my junior year of undergrad, had accepted the calling and I just KNEW I would be blessed in pursuing this degree. (Ever wonder about how much we THINK we KNOW?) However, after graduating with a Master’s in Education, while also working for a year in the local school system, I ended the year without a job or any such prospects. I had just begun a fast and was intensely seeking the Father for guidance, to simply hear a word of direction or encouragement. I was working part time in a retail position that constantly cancelled shifts and took up another position substituting at a former teaching center a few days a week to supplement; still, no word, no job. I took out cash advances on credit cards that had been paid in full just to make rent and my car payment. I even had a position come through in an elementary school as a long term sub that eventually ended up bottoming out before I could even start. I was at a loss as to what my next move should be and I had yet to hear from the Father, my Father, even after seeking his face and being in the midst of a fast. I was losing patience and my resolve was weakening. All I could think is "Why doesn't he answer?" Eventually, I decided I needed a change of pace and shared with God my desire to move and I was given a permissive 'yes'. I immediately found a job with the early childhood company I had been with for a few years in Atlanta but not even close to the pay or type of position I desired. I cried in frustration many times because I didn't understand what God was doing. Why would he allow me to move and find a job only to be in what I considered a position of failure? However, in that position I had more opportunities for growth and development as an educator and made more connections than I ever would have made had I stayed where I was. And though it has truly been a journey of trust and faith, my belief in my God has again been reinforced and uplifted. I learned to trust him again and to know that being faithful in a few things leads to him trusting me with so much more!
Being abandoned by the people you love briefly describes my utmost experience of brokenness. What do you do when you look to the people you trust to have your back, to defend you and protect you, and realize you have been left on your own? That they are too afraid to defend you against another person because of the quality of life they provide? To whom do you turn for refuge and security? I honestly am still working on granting forgiveness to those who abandoned me but each day is a lesson in this. I have come a long way but I still have so far to go and I am allowing God to show me how to love even when my over-analytical mind wants to hold on to the hurt. One step at a time!
Share the moment when you discovered your purpose OR the moment you received a revelation of what your purpose might be
I was riding in the car in my hometown with my high school boyfriend headed to visit a friend's house for a cookout. We got lost and were winding around a neighborhood when, clear as day, I heard "teach". I looked at my guy and around the car when I heard it again. (Sounds like something straight out of a movie, right?) This time, I asked my guy if he had said anything. He definitely gave me a look when he said "No" and kept driving. At that moment, I remembered how, during a career planning session at school, I had asked God to show me what direction I should take. I knew what I wanted, which was to become a lawyer, but for all the wrong reasons. I didn't have a passion for it but I knew I had the ability. God had answered me, clear as day, and it was NOT the answer I wanted to hear! lol!
When you are hardest hit how do you motivate yourself to press on?
Honestly, I allow myself to take a break. I have come to realize I can't maintain a high level of motivation without giving myself time to sit back and reflect on the progress I have made. Once I focus on that, the motivation to continue amps up and I'm right back at it!
What have you learned in this season of your life?
Wow. I have learned that I am not always right. (My husband can never see this!) I am learning the value of partnerships and what it truly means to submit. I have also been reminded of my Father's presence and how giving over my issues, questions, and concerns should be my FIRST step, and not the last resort. I have learned to value true friendship and how to be a better friend/sister to those I consider as such to me. I have learned to trust my instincts, to never doubt the value of prime work ethic, and to pace myself. Sometimes I feel like I will never get to where I THINK I want to be, and then God reminds me the destination shouldn't be my ultimate goal; that the journey can teach me so much more if I would allow myself to see it.
What advice would you give to those who feel like their story is over?
As long as there is breath in your body and a thought in your head, there are things to be done. The journey is what matters. Get to work! :)
Send me a picture of your favorite pair of heels and let me know why they are your favorite!
A cacophony of patterns and colors that somehow all miraculously work together... Just like their wearer :-)
By: Denise Rudolph Payton
