Some days are better than others.
I try not to dwell that much on the fact that she's no longer here.
A major driving force in my spiritual being....
I can't help but to get sad at times because I do miss her.
I always think about how I misunderstood death as a child.
I didn't have that many people close to me die when I was growing up.
It wasn't until my great grandmother died when I was 11 that I began to understand that I wouldn't see her anymore.
Death=forever
WOW!
As dorky as that may seem we often times don't process the small things or analyze the deeper meaning of basic things.
I never imagined my life without her and by me being in Alabama it has hit me but it really won't hit me until I go home to Cleveland.
And I won't hear her begin the devotional song leading into the prayer.
I won't be able to give her a "real" hug; the first person in my life to teach me how to give "real" hugs.
I won't be able to hear her words of wisdom to others around me
but
I keep moving.
Although all these things remain true I have gained so much from her that her peace will live on in my soul.
She taught me the true meaning of compassion, hard work, what God fearing looked like, what nurturing felt like, what holding it all together underneath the sharpest hats on earth moved like...
God tells me continuously to be still so that I won't miss the blessings from the people around me.
I thought it was a moment in time that he wanted me to be still but he keeps whispering it in my heart.
It's so easy for me to move and while moving miss out.
And although the "movement" is important to me so are the lessons.
The night before she died HE came to me and told me that HE would be taking her away.
I cried my ass off because I knew it would be the best thing to do but as humans we are selfish by nature.
The next morning my mother told me that she had died and I said okay.
But I already knew.
HE had already told me.
God works in mysterious ways.
You hear that all throughout your spiritual journey but you never quite understand it.
In order to really understand all that you need to understand you have to be in place.
You can't be the short stop trying to play outfield.
That's not your place.
Seek Ye first the kingdom of God.
Ask HIM for guidance.
Wear your knees down.
Drain those tear ducts.
Hold your head up and say
"rain down on me."
We get so caught up in our everyday lives that we don't factor in time to pray.
I try not to dwell that much on the fact that she's no longer here.
A major driving force in my spiritual being....
I can't help but to get sad at times because I do miss her.
I always think about how I misunderstood death as a child.
I didn't have that many people close to me die when I was growing up.
It wasn't until my great grandmother died when I was 11 that I began to understand that I wouldn't see her anymore.
Death=forever
WOW!
As dorky as that may seem we often times don't process the small things or analyze the deeper meaning of basic things.
I never imagined my life without her and by me being in Alabama it has hit me but it really won't hit me until I go home to Cleveland.
And I won't hear her begin the devotional song leading into the prayer.
I won't be able to give her a "real" hug; the first person in my life to teach me how to give "real" hugs.
I won't be able to hear her words of wisdom to others around me
but
I keep moving.
Although all these things remain true I have gained so much from her that her peace will live on in my soul.
She taught me the true meaning of compassion, hard work, what God fearing looked like, what nurturing felt like, what holding it all together underneath the sharpest hats on earth moved like...
God tells me continuously to be still so that I won't miss the blessings from the people around me.
I thought it was a moment in time that he wanted me to be still but he keeps whispering it in my heart.
It's so easy for me to move and while moving miss out.
And although the "movement" is important to me so are the lessons.
The night before she died HE came to me and told me that HE would be taking her away.
I cried my ass off because I knew it would be the best thing to do but as humans we are selfish by nature.
The next morning my mother told me that she had died and I said okay.
But I already knew.
HE had already told me.
God works in mysterious ways.
You hear that all throughout your spiritual journey but you never quite understand it.
In order to really understand all that you need to understand you have to be in place.
You can't be the short stop trying to play outfield.
That's not your place.
Seek Ye first the kingdom of God.
Ask HIM for guidance.
Wear your knees down.
Drain those tear ducts.
Hold your head up and say
"rain down on me."
We get so caught up in our everyday lives that we don't factor in time to pray.
The song says, "Now let us, have a little talk with Jesus/and we'll/ tell him all about our troubles/and he'll/hear our faintest cry/answer by and by/feel the little prayer wheel turning/know a little fires burning/have a little talk with Jesus will make it right."
Martin Luther once said, "I have so much to do today, I'll need to spend another hour on my knees.”
As absurd as that may seem, it is so detrimental.
My heart has found its place.
Of course he found me
but
I prayed for him.
I had a talk with HIM.
He told me to get my life together.
I did.
He came.
I’m happy.
The word says love is patient.
I have been.
I will continue to be.
I see forever.
I feel right.
And LORD knows
I don’t want to be wrong.
I asked HIM if heandI
I closed my eyes and untohimicried
and the spirit told me yes.
Lovehasfoundme,notlookingforit,reincarnatedintohimandhemakesmeglow.
Andi,likeariedon’tknowwhatthefutureholdsbuthopefullyit’sus.
Heandiaremeanttobe.
Iamreadyforlovetoo.
Of course he found me
but
I prayed for him.
I had a talk with HIM.
He told me to get my life together.
I did.
He came.
I’m happy.
The word says love is patient.
I have been.
I will continue to be.
I see forever.
I feel right.
And LORD knows
I don’t want to be wrong.
I asked HIM if heandI
I closed my eyes and untohimicried
and the spirit told me yes.
Lovehasfoundme,notlookingforit,reincarnatedintohimandhemakesmeglow.
Andi,likeariedon’tknowwhatthefutureholdsbuthopefullyit’sus.
Heandiaremeanttobe.
Iamreadyforlovetoo.
Unto HIM I give the praise.
Lord thank you for allowing me to see another day.
You don’t have to love me but you do.
When daddy lets me down you step right in and pick me up.
When friends turn their backs you find me eye to eye.
When I fall short you are always there.
I thank you.
I love you.
Grandma Stewart I love you always.
I miss you much.
Looking forward to the day when I will see you again.
Where the streets are paved in gold and all the pain and suffering is no more.
Lord thank you for allowing me to see another day.
You don’t have to love me but you do.
When daddy lets me down you step right in and pick me up.
When friends turn their backs you find me eye to eye.
When I fall short you are always there.
I thank you.
I love you.
Grandma Stewart I love you always.
I miss you much.
Looking forward to the day when I will see you again.
Where the streets are paved in gold and all the pain and suffering is no more.
Living my life like it’s golden.
Peace and Blessings!
~justice
Peace and Blessings!
~justice
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