Love and Marriage mini series- The Harris'

Meet Brad and Hillary Harris

Tell us about you and your love! (Include a picture of you two THEN and NOW)

We have been married almost six years, but known each other for over ten years! We were good friends in the beginning and now he is my best friend and husband. Our friendship reconnected years later after we had lost touch for a while. It started with a simple phone call which lead to dinner. That dinner sparked a series conversations, dinners, trips, church dates, meeting families, and then to a Valentine's Day proposal. That proposal made Valentine's Day special for us from that day forward. In our mind, nothing could top that Valentine's Day; little did we know that our first child would be born Valentine's Day years a few years later. Our love story gets better with each year.

For many couples Valentine’s Day is the only time they feel loved by their significant other and/or spouse. How do you show your love to each other throughout the year?

We have two small children so we make the most of anytime that we have together. Whether it is cooking together or watching a movie together after our children are asleep, we enjoy anytime that we have with each other. We send each other text messages or call each other throughout the day just to let the other person know that we are thinking of them. We go on a trip every year for our anniversary. We never hang up the phone or leave the house without saying that we love each other.

We all enter marriage with our own quirks. What’s one thing your spouse does that drives you crazy but you couldn’t imagine life without him doing it?

It bothers me that when I am talking to him that he appears not to be listening. I like for him to look at me and provide feedback so that I know that he is paying attention. He will do twenty other things while I am talking. I get frustrated because I don't think he is paying attention and stop talking. Well, he is actually listening and will come back and ask me something about that conversation later. Then I start over with what I wanted to say an hour ago. It frustrates me, but that is him and I wouldn't trade him for anything.

Being a wife is more than just a title but it’s a ministry. When the enemy tries to attack your marriage what is your go to scripture?

This is wonderful verse that reminds me when I get frustrated with things like him not listening or what he calls "multi-tasking", that I need to have patience and just love. "Be completely humble and gentle; be patient, bearing with another in love. Make every effort to keep the unity of the spirit through the bond of peace."- Ephesians 4:2-3

Years pass, people grow older, bodies change, babies come but what is one thing about your spouse that still takes your breath away?

No matter how bad my day may have been or if I don't feel well, I can count on one thing every day. I know that I will hear the garage door open and a key fumbling for the lock. And I immediately perk up! The door opens and he says the same thing to me every day. He is always smiling because he loves us so much and is excited to see us. That makes him the sexiest man alive!

Many couples have marriage as their ultimate goal. What’s one piece of advice you’d give engaged couples?

Let God direct your path. Too many times we like to step in and intervene. We feel that we know best. That is a huge mistake. My heart hurts for ladies that are desperate for a Mrs. Title. They just want to get married and don't care about the path they take to get there. Be selective about your choice in a mate. If you ask God for guidance then you will never be led wrong.

When we were dating we thought we knew it all! Probably believing that marriage was easy but what has marriage taught you about the difference between “regular love” and agape love?

It is easy when everything is new and exciting, to love: Regular love is simple. When times are challenging and require sacrifices, regular love can disappear. When you are married and face challenges and you are present and working at it, that is agape love. We have faced challenges and most recently there was a death in the family. It was probably the greatest test we have faced in our marriage. We are still here and stronger as a result.

On Valentine’s Day many women who are abused find themselves back with their abuser because the cycle of abuse is real and this holiday makes it easy for abusers to woo their victims. According to the United Nations, one of every three women on the planet will be physically or sexually abused in her lifetime. Although sources of violence may seem diverse, women's responses sound tragically similar. Besides the pain and strength you will hear in their survival stories, the themes that resound across cultures and geographies are of the indifference of authorities, the familial instinct of denial, and the lack of public outrage about the violence that millions of women experience every day. It's on us...

What would tell those wives who are walking through tough times in their marriages?

I would tell them to ask God for guidance. Every marriage will face a tough time. If you are angry, take a step back and talk with God. After that, sit down and talk with your spouse. Don't place blame or criticize. Share your feelings and concerns with your spouse and allow them the same opportunity. Many times we like to point fingers and place blame but we have to accept the part that we might play in the situation.