Don't get me wrong it took many sketchy people to play this role before I gained a greater wisdom to not allow pieces of me to be put out on the chopping block of criticism, disrespect, and untrustworthiness. Guarding your heart is important when God is molding you. But I didn't understand that many moons ago. I thought if I care about you, love you, pray for you, uplift you, respect you, and prove that you can depend on me then surely you would do the same for me. Unfortunately we live in a world where people can be selfish and wanting to audition to be the next House Wife of *insert city here* for their ability to start and keep up drama. I've been there and done that and I thank God for delivering me from situations and people who were unhealthy for my spirit. There are some people, places, things that you should disassociate yourself from but you are too afraid to walk alone. But sometimes in that place of "loneliness," that place of isolation, that place of deliverance we discover where we walked from, who we can become, and where we can go if we would just get quiet and just be...
My friends know how to push me. They know how to challenge me to dig to those unspoken places in order to speak in an unknown language to communicate with those who have given up on their ability to hear. So I took the challenge and I wrote her a letter:
One day you will be a mom. To a sun! I know unbelievable. But you will literally fall in love. It’s hard to explain to you now but you won’t be able to imagine life without him.
You will also get married to a man you never thought existed. Someone you never thought would want someone “like you.”
At least that’s how you identify yourself… someone “like you.” You’ll realize that people love that someone within you and that they aren’t being conniving. (You’ll learn how to trust people in a healthier manner as well). Anyway, low Self-esteem, nightmares, flashbacks, and feeling abandoned will no longer secretly hold you hostage. Despite your thoughts as to how your family will react, while in college, you’ll seek out therapy for everything you’re experiencing and it will change your life. You’ll learn the difference between religion and spirituality and discover a perfect peace in the atmosphere of God. People will no longer be your crutch because from your disappointment in them, you will discover in your time of isolation that you have to be set apart in order to hear clearly from God. Those dreams you have are His way of speaking to you so no… you aren’t crazy. You’ll meet other dreamers who are called by God and will find solitude in your growth. You never stop writing but you will share your words with people. Women, men, children, YES children! You will get over living in silence but make a leap to speak about your witnessing domestic violence as a child.
From speaking out you will meet so many others in similar shoes and from there you will step into your purpose. I know you’re shy right now. You only speak when spoken to. Usually overlooked when you walk into a room but your voice, your words, your spirit, your passion for change will be the very thing to open eyes, touch hearts, and begin a revolution to come from behind that metaphorical bush you’ve lived your life behind. Because you’ll learn that all these years you haven’t been alone behind that bush but that God was preparing you to be the landscaper.
So it’s all happening for a reason. There’s a higher power working within you and Stykes you would not even recognize this amazing woman writing to you.
Continue to push beyond the limits and be blessed!
