In five days I will be marrying the greatest man that I have ever met in my life and trust me, I’ve met a lot of men.
Everything that I have prayed for.
Every woman’s dream.
Every hearts desire.
I have him.
And I will for the rest of our lives,
as long as the earth rotates on its axis,
so long as God continues to give us air to breathe,
circulation of peace within our bodies;
we will be one.
Emerging souls,
minds,
kindred spirits;
we love
we live
we enjoy
we party
we learn
we grow
we be
us.
I’ve been nervous for the past few days.
Wanting to finally get to this laptop and write about how I feel.
Realizing how much more calm life was when I documented my emotions,
realizing how I don’t want to be in freak out mode for the rest of the week.
So here I am.
Typing when I should be washing clothes,
packing panties,
vacuuming,
studying,
sleeping,
sleeping,
oh and of course sleeping but I’m not…
I value my sanity too much to sleep on this one.
I refuse to let anxiety get the best of me two days in a row.
Eyes forming with tears because I lost track of how to say I’m nervous.
I want to be the best wife God plans for me to be.
I want to be the best wife God plans for me to be.
That Proverbs 31 wife, mother, friend, sister, daughter, Christian… me.
The pressure is on to prove to myself that I can stick out a relationship
without running away
because aside from the fact that after Sunday I can’t run away…
I don’t want to.
I am embarking on two major moments in my life in twenty four hours;
graduating college and getting married.
Crazy huh?
But together we share in both moments because he is doing the same thing,
in the same order but the difference is that he’s ready.
No nervous jitters for him.
Just pure excitement.
I have this TEENY TINY reservation because I just realized for the first time in my life I will have something that’s mine.
Something permanent,
something constant,
something that won’t change.
Day in and day out he will be my husband and I will be his wife.
No matter how many words you add or take away
the fact will still remain
that we are husband and wife.
He is my Omega,
my revelation.
He is my conclusion…
Never having a male figure in my life that I can call my own.
Never having a male figure in my life that I can call my own.
Never had MY OWN dad,
or a grandfather or uncle close enough for me to run to.
It’s always been someone else’s something that they didn’t mind sharing with me.
But he…
he will be MY husband,
my first and last husband and I his first and last wife.
Together we will experience the rest of our lives… together.
No one had him before me;
no ex wives,
estranged children,
or crazy ex in laws…
He saw something in me that he could not imagine life without
and decided to follow through with that.
Talk about beauty at its finest.
I don’t want to lose this guy.
I don’t want to lose this guy.
I want him to love me more and more each day
as I do him.
No matter how mad,
how crazy,
or how misunderstood,
we might be.
We will always weather the storms,
pray like the first time we discovered what prayer could do,
and embrace each other…
flaws and all….
Good night!
Good night!
I'm a train wreck in the morning
I'm a __ in the afternoon
Every now and then without warning
I can be really mean towards you
I'm a puzzle yes in deed
Ever complex in every way
And all the pieces aren't even in the box
And yet,
you see the picture clear as day.
[Chorus]
I don't know why you love me
And that's why I love you
You catch me when I fall
Accept me flaws and all
And that's why I love you
I neglect you when I'm working
When I need attention I tend to nag
I'm a host of imperfection
And you see past all that
I'm a peasant by some standards
But in your eyes I'm a queen
You see potential in all my flaws
and that's exactly what I mean.
